


I'll take care of you

by Sweetferret



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Post-Canon, Sorry i couldn't do it one sided i love them a lot, They love each other but they're dorks so... yeah, They're on university
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 16:12:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6383461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetferret/pseuds/Sweetferret
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First of Kageyama's mistakes: Fall in love with his friend (and never telling him).<br/>Second of Kageyama's mistakes: Live with him after high school.<br/>Third of Kageyama's mistakes: Hurt him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll take care of you

Kageyama wakes up suddenly, uneventfully. Heavily, he raises his eyelids.

He doesn’t feel any better than when he went to sleep probably a few hours ago. The time sleeping only makes the guilt come back like a punch in the chest as soon as he regains consciousness of his body.

Guilt. That’s only one of the things he feels right now. Angriness and the _need_  to punch something, anything, stands out almost with the same intensity as guilt.

No. He doesn’t want to punch any random object. He wants to punch himself, beat up himself.

Kageyama covers his face with both hands and rubs away the few traces of drowsiness left. He scrubs with so much force that it hurts, but he deserves to feel the pain.

Still with his face hidden from the darkness, he takes account of the silence. The apartment is too silent.

He has a complicated relationship with silence. He likes it when he has to study or needs to think in important things. He hates it when those thoughts start to be overwhelming or when he’s in front of someone, because most of the time it’s an uncomfortable silence.

He definitely hates it now. In this situation it can only mean something bad.

Kageyama stands up. He needs to see him.

After a few steps he stumbles with something laying on the floor. He decides to ignore it and continue his way to the room next door. He doesn’t need light to go there; the time living here is enough to help him sort almost every obstacle on the floor.

_Maybe he hates me._

The silence coming from Hinata’s room disturbs him. It’s weird, and unusual. His room always seems a welcoming place, where although the mess of books and clothes, it’s cozy. But now…. Now the silence increases the feeling of a gloomy aura coming from there, an aura which probably fits the owner of the room.

Just a glimpse inside and Kageyama realizes that Hinata went out at some point of the night. Nothing looks like being touched. Even the blankets are all pulled back where he saw them being thrown that morning.

_He didn’t go to sleep…_

Kageyama’s heart tightens in his chest. He never thought something like this would happen.

Having an idea where Hinata could have gone, Kageyama goes to his room to put on some pants and grab his phone. He’ll try to call him if he’s not there.

While tying his shoes, he notices something on the floor near the door. He takes it and immediately recognizes Hinata’s cat-shaped keychain.

Kageyama puts it on his pocket and goes outside.

The street is quiet; no birds sing or dogs bark, so the few cars passing by are more noisy than in the day.

He’s glad he brought a sweater, because despite being spring since a while ago some nights are still cold. He asks himself if Hinata put on a hoodie before going out.

Thinking in Hinata fills him with hesitation, and Kageyama decreases the peace of his steps. Even though he goes mid way he’s starting to doubt if Hinata really wants to be found. He’s aware he repressed his true feelings while they were with their teammates. He obviously wasn’t as expressive as always, but he’s the only one who has know him long enough to realize that. So, probably he doesn’t want anyone to see him right now. Especially him.

The normal brief walk takes him 10 minutes more compared with the times he comes here with Hinata when their university gym is closed.

The community gym building comes to sight.

Like expected all the lights are off. Kageyama stops in front of the glass doors and looks to the sides. Hinata isn’t here, or else he would be sat on the benches on the sidewalk.

Sighing, in a mix of disappointing and resignation, Kageyama turns around to go back home.

 _I should call him_ , he thinks pulling out his phone. 

He starts searching for Hinata's number on it when he considers what he thought moments ago.

_If he doesn't want to talk, he won't answer it._

Watching the number lightened in the screen, Kageyama shuts with force his phone and puts it back in his pocket.

He continues walking, frowning hard at the concrete. Then, a new sound makes him lift his head. The sprinklers of the park had activated, watering the grass and trees.

He didn’t think the park could be an option, but now that he looks at it…

He finds himself changing his course without noticing, and soon the only sounds surrounding him are from the sprinklers and his own steps. The light coming from the lampposts doesn’t illuminate everything, but somewhat helps Kageyama on his search.

Minutes pass and nothing. He can’t see or hear anything different. The sound of the sprayed water turns into a monotonous noise, until a sniffle muffled by it reaches his ears.

Kageyama halts, moving his gaze all over the place. Another sniffle, and the position of the orange head is discovered.

He’s meters away from the main path, hugging his knees and covering his face with them. He's sat almost in the shadows, and luckily the sprinklers aren't active.

Kageyama feels his heart tightening again. If this weren't his fault, he would go and hug him, repeating that it's going to be alright. 

He approaches him slowly, like if Hinata were one of the animals who run away from him with only a glance.

Hinata sniffles again.

“Hey,” He says to alert him of his presence.

Hinata tenses, and hugs his knees with more force. Kageyama stops, suddenly feeling inadequate there. He hears a long exhalation and Hinata’s body relaxes.

“Hi.”  He doesn’t look at Kageyama, but the way that only word trembled it's like a punch to his stomach.

Kageyama walks the remaining space to him, and sits at his side leaving at least a meter of distance between them.

He turns slightly his head, and sees Hinata shivering. A big dark stain, of what Kageyama thinks is water, contrasts with the bright colors of his long sleeved shirt.

Silence. How much Kageyama hates it now. He wants to talk, to bicker, to fight, anything but silence. His gaze drops to the splint on Hinata’s right arm.

He wishes he could feel part of his pain in his own arm, and not this uncomfortable feeling in his chest. A physical injury is way more bearable than any emotional pain.

“It hurts?” It's the first Kageyama thinks could help to make some sort of conversation.

“The pills worked, so no too much.” Even though his voice is still muffled, Kageyama hears too well his voice cracking on the last words.

Another sniffle.

“Why are you here?” It’s stupid, it’s irrelevant, but he can’t let the talk die so soon.

“I couldn’t sleep, and didn’t want to wake you up… Plus the gym is closed at this hour.” Hinata turns his head and supports it on his knees. “Why are _you_ here?” His eyes are red and puffy.

Kageyama moves his head to the front, fixing his gaze on the grass. He doesn’t like watching Hinata like this.

“I don’t know.”

“Go home,” Hinata promptly says. “I don’t want to go back yet.” He covers his face with his knees again.

Kageyama takes a peek at the splint before leaning back. “Don’t want to. I’ll stay here.”

He notices Hinata lifting slightly his head to look at him. After a few seconds he drops it, without a word.

The air gets colder due to the watering of the plants. Hinata shivers again; his wet shirt doing nothing to keep him warm.

Without thinking Kageyama sits, removing his sweater. Before Hinata can realize it he puts it on him.

“What are you doing?!” Hinata shouts pulling down the collar of the sweater.

“You’re cold,” He states the obvious. “I bet you get wet when the sprinklers activated.”

Hinata lowers his head admitting he’s right.

“Thanks,” He mutters turning the piece of cloth to the front and putting his arms on the sleeves, cautious of not using too much force with his right arm.

He leans back on the grass, and Kageyama does the same.

“You’re the one cold now,” Hinata comments.

“Not really,” Kageyama feels his arms and back cold, but he couldn’t care less. Sadly, he sneezes.

“See? You’re cold,” Hinata insists.

“It’s just allergies.”

“Liar,” Hinata giggles.

The corner of Kageyama’s lips lift. That’s how he likes to see Hinata, laughing or smiling. Not faking happiness or crying.

He feels his cheeks warming at the thought.

Hinata sniffles again. Unconsciously the images of the accident return to his mind and the smile dissapears.

The ball falling. He jumping back. His body crushing something. The ball going up. He standing up. Someone yelling to stop the game. He looking back. Hinata on the floor, covering his arm.

 _If I had seen Hinata behind me, this would never have happened._  Again he feels like punching himself.

“I’m really sorry.” Kageyama breaks the comfortable silence. “I should–”

“Don’t say anything else,” Hinata speaks harshly. “If you say something I’ll feel angry, and I don’t want to.” He puts his healthy arm over the splint. “Let’s forget it, okay?”

Kageyama’s brow deepens. _How can he say that? How can I forget it? I broke your arm!_

“No.”

“Kageyama, I–”

“I said no!” Kageyama sits on the grass. He doesn't dare to look at Hinata directly.“I’ll not forget it. Because of me and my mistake you’re hurt now. You can’t play for 4 months! HOW CAN I FORGET IT?! You’re not going to play with m– us for that long!” Kageyama yells.

He’s angry and guilty, but Hinata should be the angry one!

Kageyama doesn't turn his head, but he clearly hears Hinata sobbing. Again. Again because of him.

“I– I know that!” Hinata whines. “I should be the angry here! But... I’m not, so let it be… please.” He whispers the last word.

Kageyama doesn’t know if feeling relieved or mad. He doesn’t want to see Hinata angry, but he should be! Hinata is important to him. He helped him to find the fun part of volleyball again. He’s the one who makes fun play volleyball every day. And now, he took away the fun from Hinata.

“I’m not going to.” Kageyama’s hands turn to fists. “If you’re not going to be mad at me, then… let _me_ take care you.”

“What?” Hinata sits lowering his brow in confusion, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“I’ll help you with the things you can’t do because of your arm… or stuff like that.”

“Why?”

_Because I don’t want to see you sad. Because I don’t want you to hate me. Because I love you._

“Because I feel like it.” His heart hammers so hard and fast that his chest resounds with every beat. He almost says the last thing he thought.

Hinata grips the strands of grass growing at his sides. “Okay, thanks.”

Kageyama feels the warm of his cheeks spreading over his face.

Before more talking could be made, the sprinklers activate. They start spraying water in all directions with a lot of pressure.

“Shit,” Kageyama curses standing up.

“AH! I’m getting wet again!” Hinata stands up too, running without thinking clearly where he’s going.

“I can see that! Why were you sat there?!” Kageyama simply follows him.

“Because people wouldn’t see my cry, obviously! Besides the sprinklers in others places were active. Why were you there?!”

“You were there first dumbass!”

“Don’t call me dumbass! I can’t believe after years you haven’t thought in anything better! Bakageyama!”

“Shut up! Idiot!”

“Very original!” Hinata laughs out loud.

They continue running among all the activate sprinklers.

Once they exit the park, they’re all drenched, but Kageyama is glad that Hinata is smiling for real this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing this when i was sad... then i wasn't and couldn't leave it just like that akdjdk (〃￣ω￣〃)ゞ  
> I'm not sure how often i'll update because life is tough right now, but this is a nice distraction so maybe it will be faster than i think.  
> Thanks for reading up to the end! (〃^∀^〃)ノ


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